Five Ways To Quiet Imposter Syndrome
Unexpectedly about a month ago, Imposter Syndrome made an appearance in my mind about my work. I've been in practice as a therapist long enough and heard enough stories and participated in enough healing journeys that I'm usually more focused on finding ways to solve problems in therapy than I am on my own insecurities, and this tends to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay. However, all at once I had three big opportunities show up, all projects different than the work I ordinarily do that required me to function as an expert, and I felt a little, I don't know...
Like an imposter.
Then at the same time a couple other out of the ordinary situations arose in my business, and left me analyzing the "why" and "what happened," and in the blink of an eye...
The Imposter Syndrome blossomed.
Suddenly it felt big, and true, and kind of paralyzing. My ordinary passion, excitement, and drive for my work gave way to self doubt, discouragement, and a fair amount of negative self-talk. I started waking up in the morning with anxious thoughts racing. I started going to my office with a sense of dread. I started feeling absolutely exhausted and like I was having to work extra hard to do what ordinarily comes naturally.
If you've experienced Imposter Syndrome, you know it's not super helpful. This wasn't allowing me to show up as the best version of myself in my job, or at least not without a whole lot of extra and exhausting effort, and so I knew I had to work my way through it before it got bigger. Recognizing it for what it was, here are five things I did to confront it so that I could recapture my passion, excitement, and drive at work, and move forward.
Accept it
Radical acceptance is the act of acknowledging and accepting reality as it is rather than fighting to make it different. It may seem counterintuitive, but there's so much relief that can come from a radical level of acceptance of the situations we're in, the thoughts we think, and the feelings we feel. Recognizing my Imposter Syndrome for what it was I was able to label it - "This is just Imposter Syndrome popping up because of something new." Then I was able to remind myself that Imposter Syndrome is just a normal human experience and not necessarily based on truth. Just by naming it and normalizing it, without trying to fight it or get rid of it, it started to shift. It lost some power. It gave me some distance to sort through it and not just be in it.
By naming it and normalizing it, Imposter Syndrome loses power.
Calm it
I always say that at the most basic level, Imposter Syndrome is anxiety. And anxiety is physical - it may grow in the mind but it starts in the body. Imposter Syndrome tells us something bad is going to happen, and when our brains get the sense that something bad could happen they activate our nervous system. If our nervous system gets activated enough, we lose touch with our ability to think clearly. So we simply have to do the work of calming, resetting, and regulating our nervous systems first before we can sort through the what-if and worst-case-scenario thoughts that come with Imposter Syndrome. To calm the Imposter Syndrome, I added in some intentional deep breathing in the morning, at night, and any time I noticed the Imposter Syndrome growing so that anxiety didn't rise and the thinking part of my brain stayed online.
Imposter Syndrome tells us something bad is going to happen, and when our brains get the sense that something bad could happen they activate our nervous system - calming and resetting the nervous system can cause Imposter Syndrome to lose power.
Challenge it
Now that I could think, I started being deliberate about sorting through what was fact vs fiction in my mind. I looked at actual data that I track in my business and saw that the things I feared the most weren't actually happening, and that the events I was interpreting through a negative lens were actually better explained by something different than the story I was telling myself. I got consistent with a gratitude journal in the morning and what I call a What-Went-Well-Today journal - a scan back through the entire day from beginning to end with notes about what went well or was a success - at night. Gratitude and reviewing what went well train our brains to start prioritizing positive information over negative information as we go through our day, and actual facts and evidence that not everything is a disaster counters the thoughts that set up residence in our minds with Imposter Syndrome.
Focusing on facts and evidence that not everything is a disaster counters the thoughts that set up residence in our minds with Imposter Syndrome.
Understand it
Now I got curious. Why was this happening? Sure, there were a couple events that triggered it, but these are not things that would always bother me. Why now? I realized that the Imposter Syndrome was brought on by current events but it also connected to deeper past events. Understanding this helped me realize that the problem wasn't so much about being an "imposter" right now, it was about feelings and insecurities from back then. Getting to the bottom of it opened up the possibility to address and resolve what was causing it at a deeper level instead of just wrestling with managing it day to day.
Imposter Syndrome is brought on by current events, but it can also connect to deeper past events - recognizing this can help to shift perspective.
Redirect it
I recently heard someone say that putting pressure on ourselves holds us back but connecting to vision propels us forward. I had to think about why I'm working towards these goals in the first place, and that shifted my perspective away from the pressure to perform to the purpose of moving forward. Reconnecting to purpose allowed me to recognize I was ruminating on work that was over and in the past, as well as "what-if's" about work that I hadn't even done yet. Time traveling this way - ruminating over the past or worrying about the future - always escalates anxiety. Pulling my focus back to the work I'm doing right now, today, shifted my perspective enough to move past the Imposter Syndrome.
Putting pressure on ourselves holds us back but connecting to vision propels us forward.
I wish I could say this process was a magic bullet, but it wasn't a one time thing. The Imposter Syndrome quieted down but it didn't go silent, and when I noticed it popping back up I had to be intentional about redirecting again. Fortunately this happened a little faster and a little less painfully each time, until it faded back into the background.
We all have insecurities and Imposter Syndrome is a normal experience we'll all deal with periodically. If all goes well, we're able to navigate it and it passes without causing too much trouble. But at times it does not go well and Imposter Syndrome takes hold and doesn't let go, leading to high anxiety, panic, and sometimes even a complete shutdown.
I see this frequently with highly successful people, and the impact can be catastrophic, leading to such strong performance anxiety that it can be hard to get up and keep going. When this happens, it's usually because current events are connecting to past events, creating a sense of overwhelm. When present problems and past pain get tangled up together, it can feel impossible to sort through. In therapy we can untangle the present from the past, identify solutions for present problems, and find resolution for past problems, successfully resolving Imposter Syndrome.
