Tips for Managing Intrusive Thoughts
Therapy for Anxiety in Colorado Springs
What are Intrusive Thoughts
A lot of my life involves talking about anxiety and helping people overcome anxiety - so it's a frequent topic of conversation in our home. Recently my daughter shared this YouTube short with me, knowing it would be right up my alley. It made me laugh because there's so much truth in it... we all have those kinds of random thoughts that come out of nowhere and catch us off guard.
But in reality intrusive thoughts usually don't feel funny, in fact they can feel really disturbing, even frightening. They can feel very disconnected from who you are as a person and what you value. They can especially feel very powerful and impossible to get out of your mind.
I often have people come to therapy primarily because their intrusive thoughts are creating so much distress and anxiety in their lives. The nature of these thoughts can center around...
causing harm to yourself or others that seems out of the blue, random, and not connected to anything (not true suicidal or homicidal ideation)
doing something out of character or out of control that would embarrass you
experiencing something terrible happening to yourself or a loved one
violating the values of your faith or losing it altogether
Believe it or not, these thoughts can be normal. That can feel really untrue because the thoughts tend to feel so dark and distressing, and also because people don't often talk about them or say them out loud. We don't always know that everyone experiences this to some degree.
What really causes anxiety to escalate in response to intrusive thoughts is simply how much attention you pay to them
Knowing that intrusive thoughts get bigger and more anxiety provoking when you pay more attention to them, it makes sense that finding ways to give them less focus and attention can greatly reduce anxiety and disturbance. There are 3 simple steps you can take to start reducing anxiety from intrusive thoughts. These steps won't necessarily get rid of the thoughts, but can cause them to feel significantly less distressing and much more neutral.
Normalizing intrusive thoughts can diffuse them
Try responding to yourself like you would a friend, or a child who's scared. Remind yourself that it's normal to have these thoughts, everyone does. That not everything you think is true. That you are definitely capable of having a thought and not acting on it.
So often in the face of anxiety provoking thoughts, we start being mean to ourselves, telling ourselves to stop it, or just get over it. This creates an internal battle that keeps increasing and escalating anxiety to the point that it can feel out of control. When you fight with yourself, nobody wins. You can remove the internal conflict by offering yourself compassion and understanding. This action alone will start to bring anxiety back down. Normalizing the thoughts is a simple way to do this.
Seeing intrusive thoughts as simply "Brain Static" can turn down the volume
Our family recently took a road trip during which we enjoyed listening to the American Country Countdown. As we travelled farther out of the city, the station came in less and less clear, creating static that interfered with hearing what was actually on the station. Eventually we had to change the station... unfortunately right before we got to hear the number one song!
Intrusive thoughts are a lot like that kind of radio static. It's the kind of noise that keeps you from hearing clearly and interferes with what you want to focus on. But intrusive thoughts are jut that... random noise... annoying static. They are just an activity of your mind, not the truth about who you are. They usually don't mean anything. You're not likely to act on them. Recognizing this can help you to observe the thoughts as just static, just something you're hearing that you don't want to keep listening to, and then choose to "change the station."
Shifting attention away from intrusive thoughts can calm anxiety about them
This is different that telling yourself to “stop it “or trying to make the thoughts just go away. If you can acknowledge the thoughts are there, normalize them, and observe them without as much emotion or internal struggle, they'll start to calm down. Once that happens you can gently choose to send your attention somewhere else, to something that feels positive or just neutral.
You can shift your attention anywhere that helps further reduce anxiety in your body and mind:
Counting breaths in and out, noticing where you feel it most in your body... in and out of your nose? chest rising up and down? abdomen inflating in and deflating out?
Paying attention to body sensations... where in your body does it feel relaxed? how does it feel as your feet take steps on the ground underneath you? what does the sun feel like on your skin?
Grounding yourself in the present moment... what things can you name in front of you that you see, hear, feel, smell, taste?
Engaging in a task that requires your focus
Starting a conversation with a friend or loved one
Thinking about a favorite person, place, activity, or memory, imagining what it's like to be in that situation
Moving your body
The possibilities are endless!
It doesn't always feel like it, but ultimately you are in control of your mind and your thoughts, and you can redirect them when necessary. This works so much better if you're gentle with yourself and go through the steps of normalizing and validating before shifting attention.
Healing the root cause of intrusive thoughts
Sometimes intrusive thoughts are the result of underlying unresolved trauma or past experiences. When that's the case, healing the thoughts at the root can stop them for good. I help clients go through a process of finding coping skills that reduce the intensity and frequency of intrusive thoughts, and then identify and resolve any deeper root of what's causing them.
