Who Gets the Most Out of EMDR Intensives? Patterns I See in Practice
EMDR Intensive Therapy in Colorado
The Family That Changed My Perspective
Many, many, many years ago, a colleague referred a family friend to me for therapy.
“They are the best family! You are so lucky to get to work with them! They are perfect, they just had something happen they need help working through.”
The enthusiasm was contagious. I could not wait to meet them! I mean, who wouldn’t want to work with the perfect family?!
Fast forward to greeting them in the waiting room and inviting them back to my office a couple weeks later. To be clear, they were lovely and wonderful people. But the reality they unpacked that day was very different from the picture everyone else saw. Behind the image of the "perfect family" were struggles, losses, and crises that they simply didn't share with others.
We’re More Alike Than We Realize
I learned something that day I have never forgotten, and this truth has only been reinforced for me many times over in 25 plus years of hearing people’s stories in therapy…
We all have struggles. None of us are perfect, and none of us are living perfect lives. Every single one of us has messes and histories that most people don’t know.
And this privacy isn’t always bad. Sometimes these things are personal. Very often the deepest secrets and wounds are not for everybody. Good boundaries rely on filtering who gets what information and when.
But the hard thing that happens when people don’t talk about their deep pain is that they often believe their struggles are unique, and that they are alone. Sitting with thoughts and experiences you've never shared can make it seem like no one else feels this way. But after so many years of hearing people's stories, I've learned that many of the things people carry quietly are surprisingly common.
There are so many patterns and commonalities I see over and over in the things people have experienced and the long-term impact those experiences have had on their lives. I always wish I could connect people with similar problems and feelings so they could see just how not alone they are.
The Common Threads in EMDR Intensives
These days, I am most often contacted for EMDR Intensives, and it has become my favorite work - my favorite because of the freedom people can experience in a short period of time.
Over many years of doing Intensives, I also see a pattern in the kinds of clients who flourish in this format. I've noticed that the people who choose, and often get the most out of, this focused format of therapy tend to share certain experiences, motivations, and goals. They often describe themselves and their struggles in surprisingly similar ways, despite never having met one another.
Since one of the questions I get most often is whether an Intensive is the right fit, I’ll be writing a series of posts to explore these common threads. I’ll share about the kinds of people I meet in EMDR Intensives - from busy professionals and high achievers, to people recovering from medical trauma, single-incident trauma, early childhood trauma, performance anxiety, and those who have done years of talking but still feel emotionally stuck. I'll also talk about the qualities I've observed that often make someone a particularly good fit for this approach.
My hope is first and foremost that if you recognize yourself in one of these stories, you'll feel less alone. But I also hope they’ll help you decide whether an EMDR Intensive might be the right fit for you.
