Why Safe EMDR Therapy Doesn’t Rush the Process
EMDR Therapy & EMDR Intensives in Colorado Springs
I live in beautiful Colorado, and while it’s warm and sunny now, the winters can come with harsh weather that makes a mess of the roads.
Sometimes it blows in without warning, or it’s fine in one part of town and several miles over it’s white out conditions. I’ve had the frightening experience of driving home at night, leaving a location that was completely clear, driving into blizzard conditions I wasn’t expecting where I couldn’t see the road. Then there’s the problem of plowing - for a city familiar with weather, the response to keeping the roads clear is wildly inconsistent.
With all the unpredictability that comes with winter driving, I’ve adopted the philosophy that “If you go slow, you can only get yourself into so much trouble.”
There are the drivers who adapt nothing when winter road conditions ramp up - they whip around cars, change lanes quickly, and drive at a fast speed. This is where you don’t see what’s coming and don’t have time to react - once you’re going too fast on ice, you can’t quickly regain control.
Slowing down, on the other hand, gives you a greater ability to adjust if you run into trouble. For this Texas-to-Colorado transplant who wasn’t sure she could ever drive in icy conditions, that’s what has made it possible for me to drive even when I feel some hesitation.
This is a lot like how trauma therapy and EMDR therapy work
Trauma has some unpredictability to it. Different parts of the self often hold different feelings, memories, and experiences. Just like in Colorado where the weather may be okay in one part of town and unexpectedly bad in another, sometimes the idea of treating trauma feels good to one part of the self but when opened up triggers a strong reaction in another part.
There can also be different parts of memory, some at the surface and easily recalled, and other parts that are less in awareness at the start of therapy.
Because of how traumatic experiences affect the body and brain at the time they happen, things naturally get compartmentalized to aid in the ability to survive and move forward. Trying to open those compartments suddenly, all at once, is a lot like driving onto ice at a high speed - it becomes much harder to maintain a sense of control.
EMDR and Trauma Therapy Should Never Feel Out of Control
Just like with winter driving, if we slow down a bit, there’s only so much trouble we can get into. We have the ability to feel out your responses, and to make adjustments where needed without losing a sense of control in the process.
EMDR is an 8-phase process, and the first two phases are all about preparation before moving into trauma reprocessing. This preparation involves building a positive relationship, making a solid plan based on your history and goals, and building up positive resources that maintain a Window of Tolerance during reprocessing.
Sometimes this preparation can happen quickly, within just a few sessions, or in an EMDR Intensive Intake and Pre-Intensive process. Sometimes this process takes more time, requiring more sessions, or in some cases even many months to ensure readiness before opening trauma. It is completely dependent on the person and the way their system has responded to and survived trauma over time.
No matter what, this preparation process should always be based on your individual needs and capacity, and should never be rushed.
Why Preparation Matters in EMDR Therapy
One of the most common misconceptions about EMDR therapy is that faster is better. While EMDR can often work more quickly than traditional talk therapy, effective EMDR is not about moving as fast as possible. It is about moving at a pace that allows your nervous system to stay regulated while processing difficult experiences.
When preparation is skipped or rushed, people may feel overwhelmed, flooded by emotions, or unsure how to manage what comes up between sessions. Taking the time to build stability, coping skills, and confidence often creates a smoother and more effective EMDR experience.
Slowing the process doesn’t necessarily mean it has to take a long time. While the best pace is very individual, having some key things in place gives us more assurance of readiness and stability before opening up trauma.
Assessment helps determine readiness for EMDR
So how do we know the right pace for EMDR? As I start to understand your history and work through a series of questions and assessments, I’m able to recommend a pace that seems best for you. We put our heads together and collaborate on a plan that feels right based on my assessment and your preferences. There’s never any rush to go faster than you feel ready for.
Building coping skills before EMDR increases stability
Throughout EMDR we always want to be within a “Window of Tolerance,” where there’s enough activation of the memory to be able to process, but where you’re always able to observe it from a distance without the sense of reliving or getting overwhelmed. Before we ever open up a trauma memory for processing, we assess the current coping skills that are working for you, and add any that may further help create a sense of control over strong feelings - both in day to day life and EMDR.
Strengthening positive resources creates the right conditions for EMDR
We have two goals in EMDR - to make the bad things feel smaller and the good things feel better. It is the integration of old trauma memories with newer, more adaptive information and experience that leads to a sense of resolution. To accomplish this, we spend some time identifying and building positive resources before starting reprocessing, and practice using Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) with these resources before diving into trauma.
Using containment strategies prevents overwhelm in EMDR
There’s a structure to EMDR that helps maintain the Window of Tolerance during processing. We’ll identify ways to contain any memories or feelings you’re not ready for so that if they come up we’re able to manage them without overwhelm. We also start by opening up the memory we’re processing slowly, so that it only needs your focus for seconds when you first begin, before we spend more time going into a painful experience. This allows us to go slow enough that we can catch anything negative before it gets too big, and adjust as needed.
EMDR can lead to life-changing outcomes
EMDR often feels a little scary at the beginning, which is understandable. There are unknowns, and many people have spent years avoiding painful memories simply because that was what they needed to do to survive.
The good news is that effective EMDR therapy is not about forcing yourself into overwhelming experiences before you're ready. A skilled EMDR therapist can help you determine the right pace, build the resources needed for success, and create a process that feels manageable and safe.
When done well, EMDR doesn't require you to lose control. In fact, much of the preparation process is designed to help you maintain it. Sometimes the fastest way to lasting healing is to slow down enough to build a solid foundation first.
