Why Didn’t EMDR Work for Me? Not All EMDR Therapy is the Same
EMDR Therapy in Colorado Springs & EMDR Intensives Across Colorado
Understanding the EMDR Standard Protocol
I recently started Pilates. After years of working out with weights, I was kinda bored. So I started this new pursuit just trying to freshen up the routine.
I tried a couple different studios and instructors. I took several lessons at one place, and then tried another place - during my first lesson at the new place the instructor asked me, “Have you been doing traditional or contemporary Pilates?”
I told her I had no idea.
“Ahhh, okay, nobody has told you the difference. There’s traditional Pilates that requires following a strict order of specific movements using certain equipment. Contemporary Pilates isn’t that - it’s using some Pilates movements alongside different exercises without the same focus on the order and control.”
And I thought… That’s just like EMDR!
My mind works in weird ways…
Kind of like this instructor described Pilates, you could say there’s a traditional approach to EMDR therapy that follows the standard protocol, and a different approach that uses some aspects of EMDR without the same focus on order and progression. And it is very likely that nobody has ever explained the difference for you.
One of the things I hear surprisingly often is:
"I tried EMDR before, but I'm not really sure we actually did EMDR."
When I ask more about their experience with previous EMDR, clients often struggle to describe it…
“The therapist waved a wand in front of my face while I thought about a trauma”
“In the middle of a conversation the therapist would facilitate eye movements to process what I was talking about”
“I held hand buzzers while I talked”
“We just did eye movements whenever something upsetting came up”
When I ask about the planning and preparation they did before starting EMDR, the answer is usually that there wasn’t any… they just, kind of, started.
These situations often come with clients expressing the feeling that they either didn’t get much out of EMDR, or they had a bad experience with EMDR. I think it’s important to know the difference between the standard EMDR therapy protocol and other therapy approaches that may use aspects of EMDR but without the same evidence-based structure, so that you understand what you’re receiving and if it’s the right fit for your needs.
How the Standard EMDR Protocol Works
Most people tend to think of EMDR therapy as processing trauma by using eye movements. This is part of how EMDR works, but it’s not the entire process.
A few helpful things to know about the Standard EMDR Protocol:
EMDR is an 8 phase process: The first two phases are understanding history, creating a sequence and plan for reprocessing, and a preparation process that ensures you can stay within a “Window of Tolerance” so that any potential distress is minimized. Reprocessing trauma memories doesn’t even start until Phase 4. Very often clients tell me that their previous experience with EMDR either glossed over the first 3 phases quickly, or didn’t include them at all. In my experience, taking the time to create an intentional plan and finish adequate preparation makes a dramatic difference in getting results from EMDR vs feeling uncertain if it helped, or even that it caused harm.
EMDR is a 3-pronged protocol: To fully resolve what’s “stuck” in memory networks that hold traumatic experiences or deeply engrained negative beliefs, memories from the past, current triggers in the present, and anticipatory anxiety over potential future events are all targeted and resolved. When possible we start with past events, but the order of processing can vary depending on your individual goals, capacity, and what feels within your Window of Tolerance. Addressing the 3 prongs - past, present, and future - means that reprocessing happens from different angles, allowing us to fully resolve what’s creating symptoms. As we process within each prong, we’re constantly building on a foundation so that the work tends to move more quickly over time.
Preparation isn't "wasted time”: Depending on the coping skills and resources you already have, the preparation phase can take just a session or two, or we may need longer to ensure that the reprocessing phase of EMDR is helpful and not harmful. Preparation isn’t delaying EMDR, it’s a significant part of the EMDR process. During the preparation phase we’re beefing up positive skills and resources that help reprocessing to move more quickly, and that build your ability to maintain a Window of Tolerance not just in EMDR, but also in day to day life.
Target sequencing matters: Target sequencing is deciding which experiences we’ll process and in what order. Together we’ll create a timeline of past memories, current triggers, and future concerns that includes significant events - both positive and negative - from your life. We don’t have to process everything you’ve been through - we only need to pull out a handful of targets to process that relate to the symptoms you’re dealing with now. Very, very often, clients who have experienced chronic trauma or ongoing difficult situations over time don’t know where to start, or feel like there aren’t specific memories they can point to - that is completely okay, I can walk you step by step through a simple process that allows us to create a plan based on your goals. This part of the process is so important - skipping over creating an intentional plan and target sequence up front can lead to feeling lost in the process and uncertain if it’s really helping down the road.
Bilateral stimulation (BLS) is only one part of EMDR, not EMDR itself: BLS - movements that cross the midline of the body, typically either eye movements, taps, or tactile “buzzers” you hold in your hands - is the mechanism that causes EMDR to work. BLS is often applied during talk therapy to help facilitate processing - while using BLS this way can be helpful, it is not the full EMDR process. Standard EMDR centers around the 8 phases and 3 prongs, using BLS as the way to help the brain process.
What Does the Research Say About Following the Standard EMDR Protocol?
I recently came across several studies that showed the more closely the standard protocol was followed, the greater the progress and the more long lasting the results.
While researchers continue to study different EMDR adaptations, one finding has remained remarkably consistent: therapists who adhere more closely to the standard EMDR protocol tend to achieve better and more predictable outcomes. Studies examining protocol fidelity have found that following the complete eight phase model is associated with greater symptom reduction, more consistent results, and longer lasting improvements. Researchers have also noted that when therapists drift away from the protocol without a clear clinical reason, treatment outcomes become more variable.
How I Practice EMDR Therapy
While I work within the EMDR standard protocol - including the 8 phases, 3 prongs, inclusion of preparation, and creation of an intentional plan and target sequence - first and foremost I adapt the process to your individual needs instead of trying to force you into a rigid structure. Everyone is different, and attuning to you rather than just sticking to the protocol is always most important. I don’t believe that good EMDR equals rigid EMDR.
Here’s the reality - most people don’t fit neatly into the structure of the protocol. Every person walks into therapy with a different history, different strengths, different nervous system responses, and different goals. The protocol provides the roadmap, but it isn't meant to replace clinical judgment.
For someone recovering from a single traumatic event, like a car accident or medical trauma, the process may be relatively straightforward. For someone with childhood trauma, years of unhealthy relationships, or multiple painful experiences layered over time, the work often requires more flexibility. We may spend longer building resources, slow the pace of reprocessing, or integrate other evidence-based approaches when they support our work.
Following the standard protocol doesn't mean forcing every client through the exact same sequence. It means understanding why each phase exists, knowing when to move forward, when to slow down, and how to adapt the process without losing the structure that makes EMDR effective.
After more than 25 years as a therapist and many years of practicing EMDR, I've found that the best outcomes come from combining both the standard protocol and clinical judgment. The protocol provides the foundation. Experience helps me know how to tailor that foundation to the individual sitting across from me. My goal isn't simply to help you "get through" EMDR. It's to help you feel safe in the process, understand why we're doing what we're doing, and create lasting change rather than rushing toward quick results.
EMDR in Weekly Therapy vs Short-Term Intensives
I offer EMDR in both weekly therapy and short-term Intensive formats.
Whether you choose weekly EMDR therapy or a short-term EMDR Intensive, my approach remains the same. I follow the standard EMDR protocol in both formats, including careful preparation, thoughtful target sequencing, and the three-pronged approach of addressing past experiences, present triggers, and future situations.
The primary difference isn't how EMDR is done, it's how much uninterrupted time we have to work.
In weekly therapy, we move through the process in 50-minute sessions, allowing time between appointments to practice new skills, notice changes, and integrate what you've processed. This format works well for many people, especially those who prefer a slower pace or are balancing therapy with the demands of everyday life.
An EMDR Intensive follows the same evidence-based protocol, but because we're able to work together for several hours at a time, we can often move through multiple targets or complete larger portions of the reprocessing work without stopping and restarting each week. Many people appreciate being able to stay focused on the work rather than feeling like they're just getting started when it's time to end the session.
Whether we meet weekly or in an Intensive, my goal is the same… to help you experience EMDR therapy the way it was designed to be practiced, thoughtfully, intentionally, and at a pace that helps your brain heal rather than simply revisit painful memories.
